Quote of the day.

Thoughts of the day.

Today is the day I felt like my body was a shell. I could only see but not express the true inner self of me. I faked my way out of each minute while I was at a gathering, couldn't escape until I left. Could only see through the moving eyeballs that I used to view as a vibrant conversational room instead... I simply watched those messages thrown at me. was patiently waiting for each person to finish their story they seemed proud to share with me so I sat and watched through an empty soulless view.



"Forever" is theory. Something the mind would only make, Something two people would try to create. 

Old love.

"Old flame, it's always the old way
When did it get so damn cold?
You're so seasonal
We flickered and swayed
Each time the winter soul came
I remember gold days
Under love's warm haze"

Reality.

So today I decided I will close all my social media accounts, why? I'm sick and tired of people hiding behind social media - "oh I don't wanna leave the house" then proceeds to post a photo of their actual plans that day...outside of the house. That's just one of the many examples I have.

Whatever happened to genuine honesty? Whatever happened to face-to-face down time chillage? Whatever happened to house parties with the same group of people every time? Whatever happened to having coffee with a friend without being on the phone? Whatever happened to coming right over to console a friend rather than texting "feel better soon :)"? What makes them think that is sufficient enough? A true friend would be right there by your side, but no, with social media we can just "hide" and pretend that we are being a good friend when, in fact, we are lying to them and ourselves. We can just as easily text back "no worries - I'll be okay" when in fact you are in tears and thinking this is not okay. In some ways I think technology has helped us but in other... I think it destroyed our dignity, respect, loyalty and trust which we will never get back. This is why people are depressed these days because the fakeality of social media leads them to think they are being left behind, ignored, alone and forgotten about. In reality, everyone leads an actual life behind the screen...but it's too bad it's a fake world out there. Why not just tell the truth? Or maybe I'm just too old school for the virtual world out there.

words to live by.

poem.

                   

 "Eyes connect, smiles exchanged,

We bond in a way that's just exquisite.

Jokes shared, stories told,

Together we shall remain."

◆ ◇ 

poem.

"May the wind always be at your back,

and the sun always upon your face.

And the winds of destiny to carry you aloft,

to dance with the stars"

Painful comparisions.

"Buzzzzzzz, buzzzzzz", the phone rings.
My brother calls me, out of the blue, for a good chat. Twenty-five minutes flew by me while we talked, keeping it light. Then he mentions his girl and him, how they were doing. How good he is to her, how much he desires her and how truthful he wants to be for this innocent young lady. He opens up his crazy world to her, and his eyes only on her. While he proudly talks about her, I reflect upon my relationship and how I wished how it was, though it was not. Eyes were not on me, desires were elsewhere, thoughts up in cloud 9. I cheerfully congratulate my brother as the insides of me crushes. We hang up and my world kept tumbling, and crumbling apart...

Why?

lyrics.

"Let me go
I don't wanna be your hero
I don't wanna be your big man
I just wanna fight with everyone else
Your masquerade
I don't wanna be a part of your parade
Everyone deserves a chance to
Walk with everyone else"

thought of the day.

 

Just thinking of those who struggle with addiction. Once you've attached to something that was once so good to you, it's hard to disengage yourself with something that can possibly kill you. Also thinking of my uncle, Andzrej Dabrowski...who was such a humorous man, who made every moment worth laughing about and who knew how to appreciate every minute living. I want you to know I've been thinking of you lots...since I've seen struggles of an addict or two and those occasions only made me think of you. Hope all is well up there wujek. May you rest in peace and love you lots.